I've Never Read Something More True to Myself...

"In idle moments, I still slide my fingers under the sleeves of my shirt and trace the raised white nubs of scars that track my arms from years and years of cutting. How did I learn to stop cutting and collapsing, and can I somehow transmit this ability to others?"

When I first found and read that anonymous quote yesterday, I almost started to cry. I have never read something that is more true to myself and what I aim to do in the future. There are many times when I'm bored or nervous that I find myself running my fingers over the raised scars that decorate the flesh of my left forearm from five years of self-injury. I thank the gods everyday that I'm able to go without hurting myself, and can't help but wonder what I can do to help others who suffer with the same problem. How can I get my voice out there? How can I reach out and wrap my arms around those people who are hurting? How can I let them know that they are not alone?...

I've already started my journey in the smallest way possible. My writing is my voice. Through two seperate fan fictions I have been able to spread the word about self-injury, to teach those who had never heard of it or thought that it was something only "crazy people did" that it is a real problem. Through my writing I have been able to teach acceptance and tolerance. One day I hope that I'll be able to teach those things to a wider range of an audience...

I idolize the creators of To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit organization that is focus on suicide, self-injury, and abuse awareness. I admire them for their perseverance for for being able to get out there and do something that I can only dream of doing. One day, I hope to maybe join forces with them. If they're still accepting applications when summer comes around, I'm thinking of applying to intern with them. That would be such an amazing experience and I would love to be surrounded by such magnificent people...

To me, it doesn't matter that the organization is based in the Christian faith. They are so open and willing to accept everyone. I'm sure that they would be willing to accept a Pagan into their diverse mix as well...

It still astounds me that, according to TWLOHA's website, an estimated 4% of the world's population has self-injured at some point in their life. This number was only 1% two years ago. 3% in two years? Really? That's amazing and only makes my drive even stronger. One day, I will be able to help people who suffer like I have and sometimes still do. I refuse to let anything get in my way of doing that...

Love,
Nichole